way to blue

‘Anxiety, nightmares and a nervous breakdown, there’s only so many traumas a person can withstand until they take to the streets and start screaming’. Whilst I’ve hopefully been spared the unsympathetic character traits of Woody Allen’s ‘Blue Jasmine’ protagonist, her diatribe resonated strongly with me. The ‘Always Half Full’ mug on my desk at work is not a description of my state of mind but rather an irony laden, daily slap in the face – for me being ‘happy’ has always been something I’ve had to work at.

After my recent Japanese smockathon, I’d promised myself my next couple of projects would be non-smock and other-focused. However, a protracted period of low mood had me hankering for a comfort blanket and I found myself wallowing in a second Dottie Angel. The peacock adorned fabric was another Aberkhan find – not cheap as chips but half the price I’d seen previously, so I snapped up a couple of metres. I felt akin to the strutting bird with his prediliction for bright colours, an inability to modulate volume and a propensity for solitude.

Interestingly – in volunteering an outlook falling short of facebookfantastic – I observed a perception that having found my ‘other’ I should no longer be prey to dark days. In Yorgos Lanthimos’, ‘The Lobster’, extremes of coupledom and lonerdom are artfully portrayed –  proving for me that happiness cannot be found in lauding either as the ideal. Whilst I have the good fortune to be ensconced in a ‘something’ I’m loathe to categorise, I think I will always identify as a single person. Feeling independent, whilst in relationship with another, is my ultimate – to pursue my passions and chart my own course and for this quality to be perceived as attractive rather than detractive.

For me, achieving a peaceful state of mind will be a lifelong endeavour and finding points of intersection with like-minded humans,  an unparalleled joy. I’m certain my relationship with the world and the people who feature in my experience of it, are pivotal to a harmonious state of mind. However, I’m not convinced that happiness is found in a heart-shaped box for two. In fact I’m not sold on the concept of happiness at all or the subtle and not so subtle ways our culture implies it can be bought.

Whilst certain kinds of intelligence elude me, people have kindly pointed out that emotional intelligence is not something I am short of. So, it’s been a constant source of frustration how slow I can be to ascertain a fitting response to a downward spiral. In the past, I have often found myself in situations and company, succumbing to societal pressures to be a ‘joiner’. My recent love affair with sewing has freed me from this constraint and for that I am ever-grateful.

So …. I should say something about the pattern but there is really nothing to add since my first – it’s a dream and has been the most fitting companion along my way to blue.

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7 thoughts on “way to blue

  1. gorgeous, such a perfect fit…. i have always felt that happiness is transient but joy is constant -as long as you do the good stuff which for me is staring at the trees in the garden in the morning -some parts of sewing too (but currently on a steep learning curve with an embroidery machine so I have to go and stare at the trees a lot to balance it out again! great choice of fabric, you really have the eye!

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    1. Thank you Eimear! This was a very cathartic sew and was lovely to see the stunning peacocks take shape. It’s such a journey … finding patterns, sourcing fabric and then seeing the transformation. I wish I had stumbled upon the joys of sewing in my 20’s but I’d need two houses then, to store all the clothes I had made! That’s a lovely image of you staring at the trees. I find being in nature very calming and have the good fortune to live in a flat surrounded by huge trees that greet me every morning – It’s a wondrous thing watching how the seasons transform them. Thanks for the kind words – I think I am finding my niche in terms of fabric and the types of clothes I want to sew. It’s been 6 months since I started sewing my own clothes and I can’t wait to see how the next 6 unfold! 🙂

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  2. I like the scooped necklines on you best of all. There’s a lovely balance of fit and flare with this dress.I love the fabric and how you are flying the flag for our feathered friends.

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    1. Thank you Terri – I hadn’t realised until you said – but I have been embracing bird adorned fabric! I have some new fabric on order covered in ducks and am just having a think which pattern to use for them. I’m glad you like the dress – it’s a lovely pattern and a joy to sew. I must show you the bias bound seams and neckline when you visit – it’s beautiful from the inside out. So many projects on the go in my head – I’m having to reign myself in and focus on one thing at a time. Let me know if you have anything on the sewing table 🙂 x

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  3. I do have something on the sewing table but my ventures have been mainly on the buy something and then alter/modify it. I’ll have a dress, say with a high neck and alter it to shoestring or halter and it lives another life. Still haven’t got round to making my rock and roll dress after buying a pattern which on opening seemed to difficult for me to tackle. I know what I want and I’m hoping to find an easy one in Sheffield. So on the table at the moment is an integral, very flared, fine satin underskirt which I’m attaching to a dress which previously relied on a separate one to wear underneath. Just got to sew some black lace on the hem of it. I’m taking it to Blackpool at the weekend on a dance weekend! The inside seams on my work couldn’t hold a candle to yours so looking forward to seeing your creations. See you soon. XXX

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    1. Modifcations are way trickier than making from scratch Terri – those are covetable skills. As are linings and underskirts – both of which leave my head in a spin. I’m completely locked into a loop of making Japanese and other-ese smocks! But if it ain’t broke. I have exciting news about Maude – I have managed to get her on fabric and have plans to incorporate her into my next piece of clothing. I’ve also bought the domain name wrongdoll.co.uk and David is making me a business card and a simple web page. It’s all systems go on the wrong doll front! See you soon 🙂 xx

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